Belgeode presents... STEELER AIR!

VegasFlyer · Chief Captain Joined: Jul 14, 2005 Posts: 2163

Congrats. Welsh, you are now a Chief Captain. Very Happy

I know it doesn't mean anything but I couldn't resist. Those 3 zeros behind a 1 look mighty good. Wink

belgeode · Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 3:09 pm Post subject:

Hey nice going there Welsh!
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US AIR TALES- Stories of one man's virtual life as a pilot

Cheeks · Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 12:37 am Post subject:

Great work Belgeode just, just, just AWESOME Group Wave

What runway/taxiway lights are you using they look great
can u give me a link Wink

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belgeode · Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:09 am Post subject:

Most of the airports I use are from FRF (Frame Rate Friendly) Studios... they have a bunch to pick from. Makes a big difference to me. Find em at AVSIM... just do a library search for FRF Studio...
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US AIR TALES- Stories of one man's virtual life as a pilot

Cheeks · Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:51 am Post subject:

belgeode · Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 3:39 pm Post subject:

Steeler Air- In Lala land...

Incident Report- Flight 007, KLAX to KPIT.
Pilot- Lolo Delgado, Copilot- Jeffon Alexander (pending reassignment)
Date- 09-03-07
Report filed by- Bel Geode, CEO Steeler Air
Details-

Well where to begin... I sent Lolo to do a Labor Day flight to Los Angeles and back, with a freshly assigned copilot named Jeffon. I meant well... I reviewed his records when I hired him, and he seemed like a pretty nice guy. Up and coming copilot, quite a few hundred hours, even dresses neatly. No problem right... the perfect counterpart to Lolo on those long flights....

I was wrong.

The flight started well enough... they left LAX about 3PM Pacific time and reported in to tower that they were on upwind, and received their vectors. Crew at that time consisted of a couple new girls as well as Nikki Pawlikki and Wanzetta Sharpe.

They made their turn over the Pacific and started back over California on a heading to their first waypoint near Vegas. Now from all accounts it appears that Lolo was not in a good mood to begin with. According to Wanzetta, she was seen doing "the chickenhead" to a flight attendant who was taking too long to secure the galley before takeoff... Not quite sure what the ramifications are of that but I will have to investigate that later.

Wanzetta also reported to me that this copilot Jeffon had been... eyeing Miss Delgado... eyeing? As in checking her out? Hmm... we may have a sexual harrassment case here were it not for the other details.

I really hate paperwork...

Now Jeffon's report indicates that after he called the tower and got their bearing and cleared the Class B airspace, that he then proceeded to engage Lolo in polite conversation... at which time she was cold and unresponsive and told him to "mind his own business and fly the plane"? He also claims that she placed the aircraft on autopilot and started putting on eyeshadow??

OMG what the heck is going on in that plane?

3:22PM.... Says here Lolo finished her makeup... and left her purse on the FMC. When Jeffon went to move it she slapped his hand. Hmmm.. another report of "Stop looking at me like I am a piece of meat..." in Lolo's report... that's odd, Jeffon quotes her as saying "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me."

Hold on a second... I am going to get a tylenol... something tells me I will need it before I piece all these reports together.

...

Ok... I'm back...

Ok the next entry from Miss Delgado states she had to reprimand Jeffon for coming "too close to a mountain"... wait I thought it was on autopilot? Let me see what his report says... "Lolo yelled at me because I had the VS set to 1500fpm and as a result we were within 2000 ft of a mountain range... we cleared it fine, but she started going off about how she did not graduate flight school so that some jackarse... namely ME, could fly us into a mountain."

OMG... this is starting to turn into days of our lives here...

Well on all accounts looks like they were no where close to that mountain...

sigh... this is not how I expected to spend my Sunday morning... reviewing reports and deciding who to discipline.

Ok apparently here it gets interesting.

Jeffon's report indicates that at this point, just at the border of Cali and Nevada, Lolo asked him if he thinks she looks pretty? To which he claims his answer was a resounding yes. Hmmm... that is an odd question on a flight...

Now Lolo's report says "Jeffon had the NERVE to say that I look like a hottie." It also says she whacked him on the head with her clipboard and told him to "Keep his eyes in his head".

Ok Here is a report from Nikki stating she felt the need to take a xanax, because when she looked out the starboard galley window she saw a Fedex heavy that appeared to be a little too close for her nerves to handle... Says here she brought it to the attention of the pilot and copilot but they were too busy being "flirty and googly-eyed" that she ended up leaving the cockpit in disgust.

Hmm... from flight level 22 to their cruise altitude of flight level 33 appears that there were no problems to speak of... except a report from Wanzetta that her shoes were giving her a charley horse and a request for new shoes...

Looks like at this point they served drinks... according to Nikki there was a passenger in 13C who requested a double scotch and apparently got upset when Lolo told her to give him a single because "She did not want anyone getting rowdy up in this piece..." The passenger apparently declined to file a complaint and took his single scotch.

Hmmm... looks like another arguement between Lolo and Jeffon. This appears to be about the inflight movie. Let me see what they had to play there...

Hmmm... Brokeback Mountain? TWICE? The report from Jeffon says he felt offended with the choice of movie and Lolo told him to "Get over it." To which he replied he likes his partners female and "all that". Says here she told him "He could not handle her."

Mental note... update the movies on all flights...

Here's another Wanzetta report where she states that Jeffon and Lolo seemed agitated with each other and she could sense the tension from in First class... Looks like she tried to find out what was wrong but was met with "Nothing" from both parties, but she also notes they could not keep their eyes off each other.

Next entry looks like it is near Kansas City. Lolo's report states "Jeffon was being a dork. He told me that he could make me a happy woman if I would just get the stick out of my butt and realize that we make a great team together."

Jeffon's report indicates "Lolo said she was the best thing that has ever happened to my sorry excuse for a flight career and I had better be thankful that she is my captain or she will make me sit in coach for the rest of the flight."

I love how neither of them actually say what they actually said to the other.

Now here we have a report from Lolo recommending Jeffon's dismissal... reasons cited... he touched her fuzzy dice after she told him not to "mess with her wu."

Wu? What the heck is a wu?

Another Nikki report- "Passenger 34A requested a kosher meal, and instead was given the standard meal. I went to get a kosher meal but was informed that there was nothing available. I went to explain it to the passenger who requested the captain. The Captain at that point told the passenger that "She had Jewish in her family"... then proceeded to make some hand gestures over the meal and mumbling something incoherent. The Captain then stated... ok it's blessed now... now eat. Mazel Tov." The passenger declined to file a complaint but made a passing mention that we will be hearing from his lawyer if he develops food poisoning.

Hold on folks I will be right back... I need ANOTHER tylenol.

Ok I dunno about the general reader of this report, but I am starting to think perhaps long flights were not a good idea...

Oh dear lord... Wanzetta with another report... shoes killing her... REALLY need new shoes.

Hmmmm..... report from new flight attendant Twiggy McClure... seems she got stuck in the forward lavoratory and had to have Nikki help her get off the pot. Report is noted that the suction in our toilets.... suck.

Another report from Jeffon about a USAir that appeared to be weaving across the sky. Lolo's addendum is they really should not let pilots fly drunk.

Now according to Lolo at this point Jeffon asked her if she would ever date a guy like him. To which she responded "ewwwwww."

Jeffon's report states that Lolo "came on to him."

Dear lord help me......

Ok here is a formal complaint to Chicago ATC... Lolo alleges that a United heavy crossed their path and they were not advised by Chicago control till the aircraft was at about 11 o clock.

Wait I think I remember getting a report on this.... yeah here it is.

Chicago control reports hearing loud and abrasive commentary from Steeler Air 007 to the effect of "You numbskulls in control better move this damn plane from in front of us! WE have the right of way here!!!" Apparently it was a woman's voice...

hmmmm...

I'll have to talk to control later.

According to flight records they were over the Indiana / Illinois border when this next series of reports happened.

This is where it gets fuzzy... and strange...

First report is from Wanzetta... she alleges that she walked into the cockpit to give both pilot and copilot some coffee, but she was met with the sight of both pilots engaged in a liplock.

Jeffon alleges that Lolo demanded he kiss her... Lolo claims Jeffon took advantage of her delicate state and "made a move on her".

Well they both seem to agree on one thing... they both agree it was an awesome kiss.

If I am deducing this correctly looks like when Wanzetta caught them, Lolo immediately repulsed Jeffon and started yelling at him.

her report indicates he was unprofessional and a really big dork... so she demanded he go to coach and sit in 24F, she then asked Wanzetta if she knew how to listen to instructions... to which Wanzetta said yes, so she was asked to sit in Jeffon's place.

Now Jeffon indicates he was flabbergasted at being asked to get out of his seat, and he attempted to defend himself only to be met with... "the hand". He then went to the back of the aircraft.

Wanzetta reports being scared for her life at the prospect of sitting in the copilot's seat and asked Lolo why Jeffon was made to sit in the back. The response reported was "CAUSE HE'S A DORK!"

Flight location is border of West Virginia and Pennsylvania... at this point there is a confusing report from Nikki...

Passenger 24F was being unruly. He kept saying "she needs me! She can't do this to me... I'm telling Bel!" Other passengers were also befuddled by the events, but when probed for answers, the captain responded "he can sit there till he knows how to treat a lady... that dork!" At which point it is recorded that Nikki formally requests a transfer to a different aircraft in the fleet.

Wanzetta reports that she needed to use the restroom, and was granted the persmission as they were on their way down from flight level 35 to 16000 feet. Wanzetta then states she took the opportunity to direct Jeffon to take his seat again...

Hmmm... that must be where this fits in.... report from Mrs Abernathy in first class... she claims they were being rowdy in the cockpit. When the dark gentleman made his way to the cockpit she could hear the captain screaming something to the effect of "YOU AGAIN, YOU DORK!" At which point Mrs Abernathy writes that she blushed at the colorful language... all that she could make out was "You NEED me Lolo" and "Get out of my cockpit".... at which point Mrs Abernathy says that she needed to soothe her nerves and proceeded to start humming an (in her words) "old negro spiritual" called "Is Massa gonna sell us tomorrow".

Where do we find these people, and why do they fly with us?

Nikki reports when she went to the cockpit as they approached Pittsburgh, both Lolo and Jeffon were engaged in the process of calling in and preparing to land. They both exchanged glances at each other, and signalled to Nikki to secure the cabin for arrival. According to Nikki the calm was deafening... it was as if nothing ever happened between them.

The last report filed is about 5 minutes before landing.... from Jeffon. He recommends that Lolo be given a reprimand for his treatment, but he really thinks she is "all that"... she just needs to work on her attitude, then she will be ready for him.

Lolo's last report before landing indicates, he's a dork! But he knows his stuff...

flight recorder indicates one of the most PERFECT landings on Steeler Air record...

total textbook.

Exit polls indicate ALL passengers satisfied... except Mrs Abernathy... who claims to need an ear wax cleaning due to the colorful language used by my employees.

There is a suggestion from Mr Finklebaum that indicates we need to include actual rabbis on ALL flights, from now on...

All told... about 14 million made for the company... perfect flight... and two misfits that I still need to figure out what to do with... I cannot really say it was harrassment. I cannot justify firing either of them as they both pulled together....

there is only one thing for it.

I called for Lolo and Jeffon, gave them one week off, and sent them BOTH on a flight to St Maarten at the poshest resort I had access to.

Maybe a week in the caribbean paradise will teach them to work together.

As for me... I am not flying today... I am going home and back to bed.
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US AIR TALES- Stories of one man's virtual life as a pilot

acepilot32 · Captain Joined: Jul 05, 2007 Posts: 737 Location: illinois

hey belgeode was that the pss 757? or the other 757
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SpiderWings · Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:11 pm Post subject:

Terrific Bel! Your stories are great and the pictures are also. Thanks for the fun.

belgeode · Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:01 pm Post subject:

that is the regular 757 i have... i have not yet bought the PSS one yet. Not in my gaming budget this week.

But when I do get it.... I hope it comes equipped with fuzzy dice.

BUT... I DO have the Dash 8 i got from them... I am going to put up the flight from Tampa to Atlanta (by way of Jacksonville)

enjoy.... maybe Welsh will be happy today lol not one but THREE flights for ya!
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US AIR TALES- Stories of one man's virtual life as a pilot

belgeode · Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:32 pm Post subject:

Steeler Air- If it wasn't for bad luck...

(This took place before the Lolo flight I reported earlier. Note this series is using screenhunter... so it is not what i usually post pix wise... you may notice the menu in there.)

So I spent the week before Labor Day in Florida... Tampa to be precise. Comair (Delta's commuter company) wanted to work out a deal with us for flights through florida and the southeastern states. The stakes... a Dehavilland Dash 8... slightly used, which we could repaint in the official Steeler Air colors... and we would take flights between Tampa, Ft Lauderdale, Miami, Jacksonville, and Atlanta. The bonus would be that we would not have to put as many miles on the other aircraft, and we have ourselves a quick money making plane.

Sounds good to me. Now of course I needed a pilot. Since Fred had his new copilot I figured our low man on the totem pole Jimmy Salapi could use some flight hours... so this would be his baby. In true Steeler Air tradition I had to have the first flight... from Tampa to Jax. I would then right seat it as Jimmy took us to Atlanta afterwards.

I got to Tampa that Monday, spent the week watching FSRepaint do their thing and before long our first communter airline Steeler Air BLITZ was born. (Christened ST03LR- "Spirit of Jeff Reed")

I decided to go a little lighter on the paint this time, to reflect that this was not a full Steeler Air but only a commuter version. All the same they did well... To my surprise, on that Saturday morning Jessica shows up at the airport. She apparently got a flight down, and volunteered to be my lone flight attendant for the maiden voyage. We did not have that many passengers anyways so one should be enough. However shortly before takeoff, TIFFANY shows up! Even better!!!

With Jess, Tiff, and Jimmy we made our way to the active and got the journey started.

Now I have a few hours in turboprops from my Air Jamaica Express days, but I admit I am a lil rusty. Jimmy however had EXTENSIVE hours in the Dash, so he was beaming like he had found his new home... which essentially... he did.

So my first impressions of the Dash were... it's no 737. We are flying at 18k feet tops... we could probably push 25k if we wanted but at no more than 240 knots. I may as well be asleep for as long as it will take.

But I cannot complain... It's not often we get other airlines basically throwing their planes at us.

Now if only I can figure out what all these buttons are for.

So the other thing I cannot stand about a small plane... since we are limited in altitude and speed... it tends to exaggerate the effects of turbulence... and heaven help us if one single passenger loses their lunch due to turbulence. Luckily Jess and Tiff's remedy for the turbulence blues would be just the trick... get them drunk.

Once again Mickey Mouse will have to wait... Orlando is in the rear view mirror. You know, I learned an interesting tidbit while in Florida this week... it appears that Orlando Int'l is the ONLY airport in the US that does NOT have a security fence around it. The reason... there are numerous lakes and ponds that are STOCKED full of alligators. They call it the "gator security fence"... NO need for barbed wire... if any terrorist wants to get onto the airport property they have to worry about being EATEN. Gators by the way run faster than man.

Luckily Jacksonville is not that far away... and also no gators... good old barbed wire there. It's been a while since I have been there but if I remember correctly they still have awesome restaurants... and even though Jessica and Tiffany are busy feeding us all, I may be tempted to get something to go anyways.

If there is one thing about Florida... you can set your watch to the weather.

Now you may wonder what that means.... in Florida it is a given. if it is 3PM, it is storming SOMEWHERE... So it was that we heard the weather report on the way in. METARS called for thunderstorms rolling in to JAX... Nice way to test out the new plane... Now let's test out its speed... I intend to land before I get St. Elmo's fire showing up.

Not wanting to steal Jimmy's thunder, but at this point I think it best that I bring us in... I am not taking any chances with the 41 souls in the passenger seats, nor this multimillion dollar aircraft.

There's Jax... and time to bring it on home. I figure thunderstorms usually last about 1 hour or so there, so we can afford to loiter in the area for a couple hours before Jimmy takes over for the Atlanta leg.

I wish Fred were here... haha ha I am so going to show him up on this landing... of course I am going considerably slower... He does not need to know that.

Close enough... Jimmy won't tell...

Happy passengers... and time for a break. I give everyone orders to meet back up here in approximately 3 hours. I am off to the restaurant.

...

3 hours later... everyone is back and ready to go. We have our passengers loading and Jimmy has taken to the left seat. My turn to kick back and play copilot.

I kinda like being in the right seat from time to time... not as much responsibility here, and gives me an opportunity to evaluate the flying skills of my number 1 man. One thing I will say about Jimmy, he is by the book... no errors... not even a deviation from the yellow marked taxi markings on the taxiway.

OK Mr Salapi... it is your plane... let's rock and roll.

I could not help but smile as Jimmy took us off with precision... see this is what I like in a pilot... no mistakes... everything flawless as if I were an FAA reviewer. lol.

With wheels up and heading to cruise altitude I took this moment to get my paperwork all done. Hmm... looks like some kinda report from Wanzetta about shoes... Oh lawd... I'll deal with this later.

Jess wanted to talk to me about the prospect of taking some time off... apparently she wanted to get a home in Pittsburgh, and needed some time to do so... I had no issue with that... so I told her once we get back home she has a week off with pay to do as she wished.

These are the things that make me happy... flying... taking care of my people... and..... wait.. .what's that Jimmy? The port side fuel tank level is off?

WTF?

Ok I have seen this scene before... I am not amused. Please tell me you are kidding...

Sadly... he is not.

The left tank is CONSIDERABLY lower than the right tank... Greeeaaat. WE have a fuel leak. Ok time to funnel the fuel over to the right tank and shut off the pumps. We should have enough in one tank to make Atlanta, otherwise it will be a divert to Macon.

Why does this crap always happen to me... I swear if it was not for bad luck I would have no luck at all...

I make my call to Atlanta tower... still about 25 minutes away mind you to let them know we have fuel issues and may need a mayday if the situation gets worse.

It got worse.

Ok Jimmy... you have flown these before... what is your estimate... can we make Atlanta, or should I call for divert?

Jimmy seemed confident about it... he assured me we could make it.

That was good enough for me, and good enough to secure a promotion in this company... provided he gets us down ok.

Now one important thing to note is at no time was I going to tell Jess and Tiffany of our issue... last thing I want is them worrying. Let Jimmy and I deal with it. I'll fill em in later.

True to his word, Jimmy got us on final with Atlanta... an entire runway cleared just for us... fire trucks standing by if needed... I made sure the girls secured the cabin and strapped in... it was time to see how well we would land with one wing 1/3 full of fuel and the other one empty.

Atlanta was not too pleased about having to divert all other traffic to the other runways... but I assured them that our man would get us down and off the runway in no time... then they could resume their regularly scheduled hectic Saturday evening traffic.

Final checks done... confirmed gear down, flaps down, lights on... we are good... Go ahead Mr.Salapi... show us what you got.

A little high, but considering the circumstances... I would say he is doing well on that... as I watch that needle for the right tank get less and less...

If he messes this up we will not have enough for a go around.

Luckily that is not a concern today.... perfect landing, and in no time as promised we are on the taxiway making our calls to ATC ground.

My next call is to Delta's ground people... we need a thorough investigation of this plane... and whatever leaks we have FIXED... immediately if not sooner. I make sure they understand I am NOT flying this plane, nor putting passengers or crew in jeopardy until they assure me that this thing has a clean bill of health. While they are at it... they can check out Fred's plane too when he gets to Dallas this evening... I am sure he will not mind the days off.

If this crap keeps up I may terminate our deal... I appreciate that Delta has thrown planes our way, but I would rather have WORKING planes... than their castoffs.

Be that as it may, Jimmy performed flawlessly and I made a note in his report that he is to be promoted officially monday. Once this plane is ready to fly again, this is to be his new office... and by next Wednesday I will have a copilot for him.

I gotta admit the man is grace under fire... and I am proud to have him on board.

With all passengers gone and waiting for the ground crew, I decide to tell Jess and Tiffany what was going on...

I never saw the slap coming...
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US AIR TALES- Stories of one man's virtual life as a pilot

acepilot32 · Captain Joined: Jul 05, 2007 Posts: 737 Location: illinois

nice keep it up and where did you get the plane? Thumbs Up!

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VegasFlyer · Chief Captain Joined: Jul 14, 2005 Posts: 2163

Great shots and stories! Looks like you have a love affair going on on your 757 crew! Good luck solving it! Very Happy

Welshflyer · Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:16 am Post subject:

Now you're spoiling me! Very Happy

Brilliant storylines and excellent shots, now you see why women should'nt fly aircraft Shocked

(one for the sexist lobby there Smile

) and especially in the same cockpit as men Rolling Eyes

.
Great paintjob on the Dash 8 and a really nice model ,which one is it?

As for "i never saw the slap coming"...... ROFL

belgeode · Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:48 am Post subject:

BY the way all... the Dash 8 is from PSS... the same place that has that 757 I am still debating on getting...

No I have not gotten it yet...

One thing I will say about the Dash 8 that Phoenix puts out... it is VERY realistic. I actually did about 3 checkrides before I decided to fly it as part of the steeler air story... it took me that long just to figure out the instruments and controls.
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US AIR TALES- Stories of one man's virtual life as a pilot

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